I am fat, i weigh more than i ever have except when i was pregnant. I only have two pairs of jeans that fit, and they are too tight.
I am not exercising, something i have done consistently for 20+ years, but not now.
I am lonely, but i do nothing about it.
I don't read. It seems too hard. All my life i have read books, but not now. I just play games on my phone.
I don't sleep unless i drink and smoke.
I drink too much. It's the only thing that makes me happy.
I force myself out of bed each day, but i always feel fear upon leaving my bed.
I hate my ex. I hate him often, every day more than once. This cannot be good for me. People tell me to get over it, but they don't tell me how.
I am old, and ugly and wrinkled and stiff.
I cannot imagine anyone who would love me. Worse, i can't imagine anyone i would love.
This is why i don't write.
