Fifty First

I wish i had all those years back.  I wish i had known then what i know now.  I wish i had made different choices at so many points.  I wish i had become a doctor or an accountant or a computer programmer or an artist or a physical therapist or an engineer.

Even though i didn’t become any of those, i still could.  Although i will probably never become the gymnast i so wanted to be in middle school.

For you i wish the patience to let yourself try many things, even if it means starting all over.  I wish i could convey to you just how much more time and opportunities you have.  I wish for you to give yourself the peace and time to slowly uncover where you are going, letting the future disappear into an unknowable mist, and being okay with that. Check it out, try it out, it doesn’t work, so try something else.  Look back and be able to say, i didn’t like that, but now i know for sure since i tried it.  Remember your first sushi?  You were dubious, but gamely tried that glistening morsel.  I think you most enjoyed being allowed to eat with your hands. 

Keep trying, I’ve got your back.  That’s what i wish.