Thirty Seventh

My brother is going to die, likely within less than a year.

I mean, i don't know that for a fact, but it is what is likely.

I don't even know what to do with this.  There is nothing i can do with this.  I can support him, i can support his wife.  I can hope to resolve unresolved old stuff.  I can listen to his wife pour out her worst fears and sadness, fears she can't share with her kids or my brother, but i can take it.  I will take it.

I just don't know about life.  There really is no reason for it, other than the living of it.  This feels like a random act of cruelty from the universe.  Which is a dumb thing to say, as the universe has no presence with which to inflict cruelty.

I am ranting.  I have feelings about this.  Those at least are valid.  I am sad.