I was snuggled up on my couch earlier today and i realized that i was feeling happy. So i started to cry. And then i got sad, and cried harder.
Feelings are so strange.
I cried for my brother, i cried for me. I don't exactly know what i was crying about. I suppose there is no about.
Life is just hard. I wish I could make things better for you but I can't. I can send hugs though.
ReplyDeleteI wonder many days, what is the point of life. My children are grown now. I live with a new man who has his own demons that hurt me. I feel like I have replaced one problem with another. I want to grow, want to love, want to be a better human but I don't seem to go forward, feel stuck. And then wonder, what is the point to all of this. I'm just going to die one day and then what?
And then I got to work and face patients who are dying, like the the 21 year old guy we have right now who is dying and think WTF am I complaining about? Some days are good and some days are bad, most days are good.
So obviously I have no answers or words of wisdom. I think we all need to find those on our own, ones that make sense to us.
Feelings are definitely strange, but it is a wonderful thing to have tham, even the prickly ones, because the absence of feeling is incredibly hollow. Do you believe in the notion that positive energy can heal? I once saw a documentary about how a person's thoughts (positive and negative) could change the arrangement of molecules within a glass of water. It was astonishing. Anyway, in case it really works like that, I have been thinking of your brother and imagining him healthy and well and immortal.
ReplyDelete