First

I don't owe you any explanation.  

I am dying.  I want to die.  I wish i were dead.  I am trapped because i have a child.  I believe you give up all right to kill yourself when you have a child.  

My child is all grown up.  My child lives with me, having returned after having an after college experience.  Good for her.

It kills me when she goes out with him.  I hate him.  I wish he were dead.  I wish i could tell her not to see him.  But he's her father.  I can't tell her to do that.  I want to though.  But, again, i can't.  I have to take the high road here.  Someone in her life does.  I wish it didn't have to be me.  But there is no one else.