Thirteenth

For someone who is alone, this is a long, long weekend.  A long weekend to try and fill with activity.  I will manage, but there are long times of nothing.  This is where i want alcohol.  It fills in the time.  It distracts me.

What i wish:  (pick one)

• that he will lose his job.  (This would destroy his ego, although he would be fine financially.)
• that he will have erectile disfunction with anyone but me as long as both of us are still alive.  (and i will never fuck him again.)
• that he will have nightmares every night about me (like i do about him)

I am pathetic.  I know.

What i really wish:

• That i didn't care.
• That i was over it.
• That i was stronger.
• That i didn't suck.